ossifer
slang A humorous mispronunciation of "officer" (as in "police officer"), used especially to suggest that the speaker is inebriated. A: "No, ossifer, I swear I haven't been drinking at all tonight!" B: "Sir, you can't even stand up straight."
ossifer
and occifer (ˈɑsəfɚ) n. a police officer. (Also an ill-advised term of address.) Ask the occifer there if he wants to step outside and discuss it.