if it was a snake, it would've bit you
A phrase said humorously when one is looking for something that is right in front of them. Come on, your watch is right here, Liz! If it was a snake, it would've bit you!
If it was a snake it woulda bit you.
Rur. It was very close to you. Jane: Where's the phone book? Tom: Right there! If it was a snake it woulda bit you. Bill: I can't find my other shoe. I've looked all over the house. Mary: It's right behind you. If it was a snake it would have bit you.