spank the monkey
slang Of a male, to masturbate. A: "Why is he all embarrassed today?" B: "Oh, his crush walked in on him spanking the monkey. How horrifying is that?"
spanked
slang Thoroughly defeated or dominated. We were getting spanked in the first half of the game, but we made an incredible comeback in the second half and ended up winning by a single point in overtime. I know we're down on points, but we're not spanked yet!