(you) can't get there from here
A humorous phrase used when giving directions to a place that is far away or difficult to get to from one's current location. Main Street? Well, you can't get there from here—we're out in the sticks.
(You) can't get there from here.
a catchphrase said jokingly when someone asks directions to get to a place that can be reached only by a circuitous route. Bill: How far is it to Adamsville? Tom: Adamsville? Oh, that's too bad. You can't get there from here. "Galesburg? Galesburg, you say?" said the farmer. "By golly, you can't get there from here!"