the whole (something) thing
Some element, aspect, or characteristic of someone or something, especially that one dislikes or disapproves of. I really liked him, but he didn't want to be with someone who wasn't into the whole kids thing. This whole starving-artist thing he's cultivated for himself is so pretentious.
the whole thing
The entirety (of something); all (of something). I said you could have a bite, not eat the whole thing!